What to do after a gay hookup

Do a quick search of the Internet and see how many times this has happened to people. If you must send out pictures of yourself and want to include your face, consider upper torso shots only. In other words, do not send anything you would not want your boss, your grandmother or your co-workers to see. I recognize here that people are likely saying to themselves. That is the problem folks, you have no idea who you are dealing with on the other end of that computer or phone. They can send you a dozen photos of themselves but that does not mean that is who they say they are and that does not mean the pictures you are seeing are of them.

Why would you give a stranger something explosive to use against you? A buddy system is a 25 cent term for letting a close friend know trust that you are going out on a hook up. Tell your buddy the time, place and location of your destination and make sure you check in with them. Consider creating a code-word that you can use with your buddy that you can quickly say or text to let them know you are in trouble. Also, after the hook up, make sure you contact your buddy and let them know you are on your way home, regardless of how the hook up went.

One other tip that some people suggest is to text your buddy a photo of the person you are going to be hooking up with. For what it is worth, there will at least be an image that can be used by police if something bad happens even if the image is fake, it has likely been used before by the person. This is an obvious one but needs to be listed. If you are drinking out at a bar, do not jump on one of your phone apps looking for a hook up. Your judgment is likely going to be impaired and if you are drunk or even a little tipsy, you are a major target for the freaks, psychos and criminals who are looking for their next victim.

How good is that hook up going to be anyway when you are drunk?

Gay Men: 10 Hookup Tips On Grindr, Scruff and Other Apps You Need to Know! | PairedLife

When you are texting with your potential hook up, be aware of his intent. Is he asking you if you party? That is a warning sign he may be looking for drugs. Is he saying he only sleeps on the bottom bunk — ask yourself: Has he been using something that prevents him from doing anything else? He is looking to dominate? If so, is this something you really want to do with a total stranger? One way to screen for problems is to take the time to talk to the person on the phone.

This means old fashioned voice communication. If so, simply tell them it is not a good match and politely end the call. Now you know why I suggested using a trick phone. Last point here — if they refuse to talk on the phone, consider this a major warning sign of trouble and discontinue communication! This is perhaps the most important tip of all. If you feel something just seems weird or are concerned in anyway about your personal safety, call off the hook up.

You are not obligated to follow through. This point is very simple — listen carefully to your inner voice. As mentioned earlier, the 10 online hook up safety tips offered here are not exhaustive. My hope is to spark conversation and awareness around this issue with the hope of promoting personal safety. Speaking of personal safety, if you are ever in a situation where you are being attacked, please consider reading my personal self-defense tips.

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Do's and Don'ts

Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Huge thanks for the great tips. I know that's hard to meet nice guys who are looking for a relationship So now that's not a problem for me. I met a lot of cute guys and my current BF online.

Grindr, Scruff and Other App Hook Ups

If you're curious just go to http: There are many guys who is interested in a committed relationship or Also, none of my photos shows up on reverse search. I have tried it. Here are a few of those words I learned or that were frequently used:. Raw top: This one, folks, is dangerous. This one is key for Grindr because people often have roommates, etc. Flip fuck: This one seems obvious, but Grindr probably isn't the place to go searching for love. Now, this doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

1. Get a trick phone

One of my best gay friends in New York met his now boyfriend of three years on Grindr. They started hooking up and soon realized it was something more than that. Hook-up app love: It's rare, but wonderful. I'm too emotional and romantic for random, meaningless sex, no matter how hot is or how horny I am. I'm more old-fashioned, more of a romantic. I'm a hopeless romantic looking for my Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet. At the end of the day, I guess I'm more of a Tinder guy. I think Grindr is great, for some people. Don't knock anything until you've tried it, and don't shame some people for having some fun.

Now, it certainly has its problems of superficiality, discrimination and such, but for some folks, it's the best way to express themselves sexually. It's , so it's time to let go and live a little. By Clyde Engle. Here are the 10 lessons I learned from a day on Grindr: People are very superficial.

Cum and Go?

People are set in their ways. People are super forward. It is great for validation. It's great for exploring what you like. It's an excellent way to set up a threesome. Threesomes are great fun. People who go out a lot will spill your business over a drunken conversation. Save yourself from all the secret pointing and whispering when you walk into the club and opt for a different evening suitor. If neither of you can host, only hook up in five-star hotels. Gay bathhouses are just trashy, and you might run into a gossip queen or a popular scenester if you go, which would be breaking two hookup rules.

https://truseminiroc.tk There's something European and slightly mysteriously sophisticated about checking into an upscale hotel and doing the deed there. And you can order room service in the morning -- on him, of course. If you can see him being your boyfriend, only hook up with him after you're in the relationship. Momma was so right when she said that if you give the milk away for free, no one will buy the cow. I don't care if you're a bottom, a top or versatile; we're all guys. Guys like what they can't have and are natural hunters.

Make him work for it.


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If you truly like him, then wait until you're in a committed relationship, and the sex will be that much more special. Never hook up with guys with race-related hangups.

This rule is for all my fellow black gay men and other gay men of color. I'm sure you have heard it before: Does anyone really think that's a compliment? Am I supposed to jump for joy and get down and do a guy just because his backwoods prejudices say it's all right this time? I don't think so. That said, don't cause a scene, and don't try to preach to him about racial sensitivity; you wouldn't try to explain yourself to a cockroach, would you?